Seeking ELL

I love you, Dad.

2012-01-29T13:30:00.000-08:00

This last month has been one of the hardest of my life. I have faced challenges that I never thought possible. My Dad, who I love dearly has been going through a really hard time. He has parkinson's disease and was put on a new medicine in the last month. It is called Azilect. Needless to say, this medicine made something in my Dad's brian change. This med was also being taken with other meds that he has been on for around 30 years. The scary part is I don't think these meds should have been mixed together and they were. I don't even know if his doctor knows what she is doing. It scares me how easily we will trust these people with our lives and future, and take all these little colored things they give us without any question. We have no idea what these are made up of and what effects they will have on our body. My Dad stopped taking all of the medicine all together and now is in a serious mental situation. I have never seen him this way, and I know his mind is suffering greatly. So are the people surrounded by him as well as his family. From here on out I will NOT take anything unless I know exactly what it is. Luckily, we have the internet to educate us with most of the information we need. Most of the doctor's don't have time to really get to know all these drugs on the market. Think about all the thousand's out there… I understand that they can't know them all, but if the effects are as massive as what my Dad is experiencing I feel like someone needs to be educating them on these side effects. Most of these pills we are taking are because we all eat crap and never exercise. We live in a country where people want things that are the least amount of effort and take the least amount of time with instant results. I am sad that it has taken me this long to correct my diet, and realize how important it is to eat better and watch what is put in my body. I want to stay as far away as I can from any pill or doctor! Dad, I am praying for you and love you so much.

It's That Cheerful Time of Year!

2011-12-05T19:45:00.001-08:00

I've been trying to decorate my apt. a little bit for the holiday's. I unfortunately, don't have too much space, so will not be able to get a tree! :( But that's ok, my mom always does a wonderful job decorating in Colorado...So...this is what I have done so far. Easy and cheap, and my chalkboard wall I painted in the kitchen makes it that much more fun :)

Tuna What?!

2011-11-20T19:37:00.001-08:00

Today my friend Mark Weber (from markinthecity.com) went to explore something I had been interested in seeing. It is called "Canstruction" and is can sculptures! Most involved tuna, spam, beans, and mini winnies! :) It was in the Finial Center in Manhattan. It was a great time seeing all of these creative sculptures! My favorite was the Brooklyn Bridge! (See below)

2011-09-10T17:28:00.000-07:00

I notice that when I fly and have a window seat, I often look out and think the hardest about life and my future. I don't know if it's the passing of land, flying through the clouds, or just the quiet time I have to sit and think about things. Either way, it seems that I always find myself contemplating during these moments. I have recently gone through some big life changes. Changes that weren't really expected, and in ways, life altering. I have faced things in the past few months such as loneliness, fear, uncertainty and doubt. I try to face each of these feelings and accept them. It is hard at times. I do feel that each and every one of us deals with all of these things throughout our lives at different periods. I have tried to accept that this is a time in my life to face these feelings.I do feel like it is good for me in ways, to go through these things. When I have been in relationships or preoccupied with things like school, I haven't had the time to really sit down and think about what I want. I feel like so many people would rather settle with someone or distract themselves with other things, than to actually face these feelings of loneliness or fear of the unknown. It definitely is the easy way out. I guess I just can't accept those feelings so easily and if I did, I would be setting my "gut feelings" aside just to ease a different kind of pain. It is hard to really understand what I want out of life. I know some keys things like, children, family, living a Godly life, maybe becoming a business owner. But those are some big things, I guess what I don't know about are the small things. The day to day things. The things that will be small now, but make me so happy later on. I find myself looking at other people, seeing what makes them happy. In their careers, in their relationship, in their roles as family members. And the more I look, the more I see unhappy people, or people settling for things that I feel, they should not have. I don't think that in a relationship you should have to settle for someone that isn't going to help you unload the car when you get home, help you do the dishes after you have cooked a wonderful dinner, someone that isn't going to tell you that you are beautiful, or be there for support when you need encouraging words. It hurts my heart to see people in relationships and know in my heart of hearts that they deserve better. I know I am not a saint by any means in my past relationships. I bring my share of stubbornness and difficulties to the table. I pray that I become more aware of these things each day. As I grow older, I have changed so much in who I am and what I desire for my life and future. Each year that passes, I feel like these desires become more clear and much more mature then when I was 16. I still listen to certain songs and get a lump in my throat. And I have found myself saying that life is just too hard in certain moments. Then I think about my brother's life cut short, or the people that suffer from diseases, the people that don't have clean water to drink or shoes to wear on their feet. I try to remind myself how lucky I truly am, and that my problems are mostly problems because I let them be. This life is so short, but yet so valuable. The time we have must not be wasted on worrying, or these empty feelings. These moments need to count!!

Sweet Baby Angel

2011-09-10T17:15:00.000-07:00

Ten years ago this November, my life changed forever. Gertrude (Gerty) came into my life! She came in a small doggie cage, on a plane, all the way from California! I drove down to Colorado Springs airport and found this little doggie cage sitting in baggage claim. I looked in to see the cutest, smallest, little white fur ball I had ever seen. I was so excited I could hardly breath! I picked her up and instantly got lots of wet puppy kisses. Ever since that moment, I have loved her more and more every time I see her. She was a little bit more special than all my other pups. (Who I love dearly and will always have a special place for in my heart) Gerty, was ordered as an early Christmas gift for my brother and I. Jonathan, my brother, had picked out the name Gerty. We both knew she was coming weeks before her arrival and could not be more excited. We had always had Rottweilers growing up, and had wanted to try a new breed. We both loved labs, so had agreed upon getting a lab puppy! That November the most horrific thing happened and Jonathan passed away in a terrible car accident. It was the most painful thing me and my family had ever endured. Life seemed impossible to continue, and not one thing seemed good anymore. That accident happened on November 25, 2001. Gerty came into my life November 26 and she was the only thing that made me smile for a long time. I don't know if it was God's plan to bring her that day, or if he knew I needed her, but I couldn't have asked for a better friend and pet to get me through those days. She loved me whenever I needed it, and licked so many tears from my cheeks. She snuggled with me when I felt like I couldn't get out of bed, and played with me when I could. I am so thankful for my sweet Gerty. Even though I moved to California for school and only came home a couple times a year, Gerty never fails to run up to me and jump on me as soon as I walk in the door. When I call home my mom puts the phone up to her so I can tell her how much I love her. I really have never loved an animal so much. I am so happy to have had this time with her and hope she can feel the love I have for her. She was the angel in my darkest moments and I will be forever grateful.

The City from Above

2011-09-06T17:54:00.000-07:00

I flew to Colorado last week for my cousins wedding, and luckily got a window seat! I left at about 10am and this was my view!! It felt like I was on a private helicopter ride of Manhattan! I loved seeing the city from above! I have flown in at night before and that was also awesome to see Time Square light up the island like a night light. :)

Irene!

2011-09-05T20:19:00.000-07:00

So Thursday afternoon, I get a call from my Father who lives in Florida. He asks the normal questions of how I am and what I have been up to. He then asks me how Colorado is and I tell him that I am not there yet, but leaving the following Wednesday. (He was confused on the timing I was leaving for my cousins wedding) So then he starts talking really fast because he realizes that I am still in New York City and there is a "massive" hurricane headed my way. He asks me if I have been watching the news, and I replay with the calm answer, "No". ( 1. Because I don't have cable, and 2. because some of the most depressing moments of my life are when I sit and actually watch the news.) So he again, starts talking very fast asking me what my plan is and where I am going to go or who will stay with me. I calmly tell him that I have no plan, and haven't thought much about it. He then talks even louder, and even faster telling me that I better get a plan, and if I am going to stay in New York to get supplies, and start the "At home shelter process." I laugh for some reason, maybe because I was nervous to hear my normal, calm and collected Father speaking this way, or maybe because it sounded so ridicules to me that a hurricane of this caliber could truly hit New York City. Either way, my Dad did NOT think it was funny and told me to call him by the end of the night with my plan. This is when my panic started setting in. I realized that this actually COULD be a dangerous thing to endure and that maybe my Dad was right, and I was a fool to know nothing of it. Either way, I got a rush of anxiety and needed a plan asap!!! I talked to a couple people and decided it would be best if I did in fact, stay home. I started watching the news at my work and really did start to feel the nerves tense as the time was ticking to Storm Day! It was also at the same time kind of exciting :) I went to the store that day and had followed my Dad's instructions. I bought batteries, candles, loads of food, bottled water, and everything else I could think of. All the stores had run out of bottle water! It was a zoo! I ended up having someone stay the weekend with me, which made things much more fun! We cooked, we played games, we watched movies, we sat looking out the windows and listened to the wind whipping! As the time kept getting pushed back of the arrival of Irene, the less nervous I felt. I stayed up to date with the news as much as I could, and it seemed that things weren't going to be as bad as everyone thought. I fell asleep Saturday night and woke up Sunday morning at 10am. By that time, the eye had passed over, and the worst was something of the past. It didn't even wake me up!! It was in deed, quite windy though. It was also raining and the sky was a wild gray color. It would have never occurred to me that a hurricane had past, had I not know about all the news anchors blabbing on and on about the storm of the century. Either way, it was scary and exiting and when it was all said and done, Irene cause me to spend lots of money on food and supplies and forced me to be indoors on a weekend while indulging in lots of yummy food and sangria!! At least we put a small boost in this miserable economy for a day :)

The BBQ tied down, so it wouldn't blow away!!!

The Soup!!

Prep for the soup

The next day's sunset

Again, a beautiful picture of the aftermath

Pancakes the next morning!!! :D

The Astoria Park view of the city... Beautiful.

California

2011-02-19T22:09:00.000-08:00

So last week I was fortunate enough to find a cheap flight to LA (non-stop) ;) and have a 6 day get away. What inspired me most to buy the ticket, was the frostbite weather we have been having in NYC. Man, it was cold. It hurt to go outside, even if it was just for a couple minutes. So, I packed my bags and headed west!

California is one of my favorite places. Since I lived there for 5 years, I am very familiar with the land. It also houses my best friend, and most of my all time favorite people. I laugh so hard when I am with my friends out there!!! There is nothing in the world better than sunny days, and laughing your face off!

My best friend and I had some places that we wanted to check out and both of us laughed when we realized it was all food stops. We are treat junkies! I love that I found someone in life that loves that stuff as much as I do...

Here is a video I just made of one of the days spent in LA! :) I miss it already...

Doughnut Plant!!

2010-10-11T08:55:00.000-07:00

I took Joey here, finally, for his 29th Birthday! We had just stuffed our faces at a brunch spot, but we got a bag to-go!

Here are the flavors on the day we went!

We tried; Carrot Cake, Toasted Almond, Apple Cinnamon and a Chocolate that is not shown on the board. These were the best doughnuts I've ever had!

If your ever in NYC check them out on the Lower East Side!

Where Are You Cupcakes?!

2010-08-14T20:55:00.000-07:00

So... This summer I have been on the hunt for the best cupcake in NYC. I have tried a about half a dozen and still don't feel like I have found the perfect one. There are a few bakeries that I want to go back to and try some different flavors. Most of the times that I went, it was late at night, and not necessarily the freshest. I have been to Magnolia Bakery... Pictured below

and got a red velvet. It was a little dry, but still pretty good. Some friends of mine got banana with chocolate frosting, and really liked it.
The other place I was excited to try was CRUMBS. I had heard a lot of hype about it, and found it accidentally while showing my Dad around. I came later in the day and they had run out of a lot of the flavors so I just tried a vanilla. It was pretty good! This is the place that I want to try again. There is one by my work, so I am going to run and get some new flavors in a few days...

My next stop is doughnut plant...

Passion

2010-07-31T20:52:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been thinking a lot about passion. I have read a lot of online articles that are insistent that each one of us has our very own, personal, unique passion. I guess I always knew that but never understood it. Mainly because I have no idea what mine is. It's very hard for me at times, because I think I know what it is, then I am at a point where that thought becomes my reality and I decide that it was not my passion in the first place. I guess I have been hunting for it all my life and am back to square one. What the heck is my passion?

I read an article that I enjoyed and got some insightful things from but got even better ideas from the comments people left. Someone said that a good way to find out your passion is to ask yourself, "How can I serve others?'' I really never thought about it like that... I know that I can serve others by cleaning the toilet so they don't have to, or paying for them when they are low on cash but never how I would choose to serve others. So this had me thinking for the last hour and I realized there are so many things that I like to do for people that I had no idea about. Things that make me so happy! I have a list of them, but they are still very vague and I am not sure how I could apply them to my life or say a career. I am excited that I at least have some ideas though. I have never felt closer to finding my passion than I do now.

So over the next few weeks I am going to really dig in on these ideas and hopefully come that much closer to deciding what the heck I am doing on this planet and the purpose of my life. Stay tuned, if you'd like. :)

Papa Ell in NYC!

2010-07-17T10:23:00.000-07:00

My Dad was able to come for a 5 day visit last week and we had a blast! He had never been to the city before, so it was extra fun showing him around. He did pick the hottest week thus far to visit, and experienced a NY heat wave. He was a trooper though and walked 10 miles at least, each day! Haha, all we did was walk and get drinks every 5 minutes!

During his stay we visited The World Trader Center construction site, Battery park (which has a great view of Lady Liberty), Central Park, The National History Museum, Rockefeller Center, Times Square, Jersey Boy's (on Broadway) Washington Square, the Macy's fireworks show on the Hudson river and many food stops along the way! I hope my Dad enjoyed being here as much as I enjoyed having him.

Here are a few pictures I snapped!

MacBar

2010-07-06T12:58:00.000-07:00

So my friend Piggy told me about this place called the MacBar. It's such a hidden gem! It's very tucked away and easy to oversee, but such a treasure! The menu is fun and a little fancy for mac and cheese! They offer Cheeseburger mac, Classic, Four Cheese, Mac Lobsta', Mac Reuben, and many more! I have been 2 times now and got the cheeseburger both times... YUUUM! It is even made with the higest grade, Kobe Beef! Be sure to check this place out if you ever see it!

PS-You even get this cool macaroni shaped take out container!

Computer::::ERROR

2010-06-26T17:02:00.000-07:00

Dear 3 followers (including myself),

My computer has headed to the hospital for 10 days and will not be back in healthy conditions until late next week. I am sorry for the lack of posts due to this unfortunate reason. Luckily, my insurance will be covering the 10 day hospital visit and I will have a hippy new hip computer back in action.

Recently, I have been to 3 different cupcake boutiques, which I will update you all with in the near future, I have been to some new funky dining arenas, and a few more fun surprises that I made sure to write down so I wont forget! I can't wait to share some pictures and great things with you! Until then please dont forget about me.
I love you 3 (including me) :)

Chop Sui!

2010-06-07T18:13:00.000-07:00

Here is a picture of my chopped hair!

Way too hot for long hair right now!

Tea Time!

2010-05-28T18:49:00.000-07:00

Today after a job interview at a restaurant, I was walking to the subway and stumbled upon this cute little tea house. I peeked inside hoping it was exactly what I thought it was. A Japanese Tea House!! MmmMmm I love Japanese tea! It's been a struggle to find good tea ever since I left Japan. I don't know if I just fell in love with their tea and prefer only it, or am just missing Japan and all those vending machines! Here's how it looked inside! I ordered a peach ice tea to-go. It was everything I hoped it would be and more! :) They said that they do tea appointments for tasting, showers, weddings and business meetings! If I ever own a business I will have a tea meeting there!!

Job Hunt

2010-05-25T17:50:00.001-07:00

Looking for a job is so exhausting! :(

Sade - Soldier Of Love

2010-05-21T09:57:00.000-07:00

Food Food Food!

2010-05-19T14:49:00.000-07:00

So, living in NYC is going to be very hard on my waistline. Joey watched the Travel Channel over the weekend and wanted to try out the Countries first Pizzeria. (He gets so giddy about that stuff, must be the Italian blood) :) Anyways, we take the subway to China town, walk a few blocks and see Lombardi's on the corner. There were a few people waiting in line to enter but we were seated rather quickly. We decided to stick with the traditional cheese pizza because toppings were $3.00 each to add and the pizza was already $15.00 for a small. We also got a small salad that was very tasty and fresh! The pizza arrived and looked a bit funny to me. Here is a picture...

Notice how the cheese is in circles instead of all over? This is because it is fresh mozzarella! Yuuuum! It was SO good! We will definitely go back there, even if the prices are a little steep...

We were headed back home when I noticed a funky looking shop that was brightly lit and looked like something you would see in Japan with its fun, funky design... It was a place called, "Rice to Riches". At first I thought it was a rice pudding store but had never heard or seen such a thing so quickly dismissed it. We walked a little closer and I realized it WAS a rice pudding shop! Of course we walked in with big grins on our face and began looking around! It was set up like an ice cream shop but had about 20 different flavors of rice pudding! I asked the cute little lady what the most popular flavors were and she pointed out the french toast and a few others. I ended up choosing that and Joey chose MAN-MADE MASCARPONE (which again is flavored after an Italian cookie) and we sat down. It came in a cute little container that you got to keep and a few futuristic spoons! Here is a picture...

Sorry for not posting any cupcakes adventures yet, I will soon!

CUPCAKES!

2010-05-11T14:55:00.000-07:00

I just moved to NYC a week ago, and I am so happy to have such wonderful food and restaurants surrounding me. One of my favorite things in the world are CUPCAKES! I decided that I am going to go on a hunt for the best cupcake in the city. Anytime I have some free time I will look up a bakery and go try a delicious treat. I will post pictures and review each stop I make!

Spring!

2010-03-09T08:57:00.000-08:00

I haven't lived in a state with 4 seasons in over 5 years, so moving to New York last summer has reminded me to appreciate fall, spring and summer! :) (I never really cared too much for winter).

Today I woke up and opened my window for the first time in over 5 months! It felt so nice to get some fresh air in the room. The sky was bright blue when I awoke without a cloud in the sky. Although I loved living in California for so long, I never took full advantage of summer because it was summer for more than half of the year. Now I know I have to make all the nice days count.

Iced coffees, car washes, flip flops, BBQing, and open windows.... I've missed you!!!

Recent Obsessions

2010-03-02T10:45:00.001-08:00

Love this!

2010-03-02T09:02:00.001-08:00

No blogs for 17 months

2010-03-01T09:26:00.001-08:00

Man, I guess I never became the blog master. I wish that I was more outgoing when it comes to my own blog. I guess I never think I have good enough things or ideas to put out into this wild blogger world we live in. My best friend just started a blog, so I guess if she can do it, so can I! :) I will try to update this much more often than 17 months. If anything it can let you know what's going on in my crazy life. For example; I moved to Buffalo almost a year ago from California (originally from Colorado) and am now moving to New York City May 1st. So you see, I tend to fleet cities every so often. I can paint nice pictures for you about this crazy adventure I am living!

Hopefully I haven't scared you away for being so boring so far! I promise to get more exciting!

The Blog World

2008-11-29T12:36:00.001-08:00

I am new to this, but one day I will be a blog master. :)